Well, I am still in the state of unemployment. I declined the secretarial job in a supermarket near our home so.... yeah, unemployed. But I don't regret letting that opportunity slipped away because I know that I don't really want it and might end up being regretful doing the job in the end.

So here's what happened, I was going to take an exam the day (it was the day after the final interview) when Mama called and told me that a friend of my sister ask her to send my resume to her for the position of HR in a big company. Hearing the name of the company, I hastily said that I want there and not in the place that I was in the moment, waiting for the exam to happened. In that day also, I have to go to a clinic and have a medical exam after that, requirements were hence, a job waiting for me. But I backed out, after taking the aptitude exam, I told the HR that can  I take the medical exam the other day and no contract was asked for me to be signed yet. I was terribly confused that day, I know that I have to have job but the ambitious me wanted to back out and try looking for a bigger opportunity - where I can literally practice what I've learned and to earn some serious money and make a dedication on the company. I mean, I do have a bad intuition when it comes to employment, I am not really that excited or even happily look for a job so if I would be working, it might be bad for me to work in an environment that I don't really like and job that don't challenge me. But of course, being unemployed sucks. I was literally eaten by my frustrations to go outside and do some adventure but I need to have money and I just can't ask my parents for it because we're middle class. My confusions eat me and I can't do anything. Well good thing, books are great company. So the HR called that day also and told her that I might decline their offer and said sorry, blah blah. SO here I am, waiting for something I don't know that will come. Sucks. I know.

I am one complicated person. But I promised that once I find the perfect, I will dedicate myself to it and will not try to lessen my time at home and start my career. So yeah. Lord, pleaseeeeeeeeee

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