2015 is a sign for a fresh start. Last year, everything was so fast, everything was running wild and it was sad that I was like a stone in the middle of the year - immovable, unchanging, just letting the events flow while standing still. Sucks. Frustrating. But I've learned a lot.
After graduation was a big question mark, a long running thought play and a never ending squirming and anxiety. I tried finding a job (7 interviews, 3 job offers) and unfortunately, after interviews, I failed to be called or I failed to attend the second call. That was my mistake, I let myself be driven with the loss of my interest in the industry or the actual routines in the industry. I know it's the reality but everytime I step inside the doors of each company and feel the atmosphere then feel nothing but dread, I always tell myself that there are other options, other choice. With that, I tried to do my best but still, it feels like I can't take the next necessary step. Thus, I think I'm not ready to make myself do things that I don't feel like doing at all. That maybe I can hit any apply button in any company hiring in any job listing and if was lucky enough to be invited for interview, I will feel the environment then feel if I am ready or not. Even though I tried to think that way, it doesn't seem so right but staying at home and doing nothing doesn't seems so right too so I'll be damned, Caroline, what do you plan to do?
The thing is, I don't have solid plans....but I do have dreams. And dreams are sometimes for runners but like what I said, right now, I was more like a stander, a statue. Right now, my dreams doesn't matter because I am not yet on the move on achieving it and I will unlikely achieve it if I don't make plans. So I have to have plans. But being new to this, the most normal way to plan in making a move is a job. Right. Gosh. How come existing can be so easy but living can be so difficult? I know living will be easier if efforts are done, yes, so...
I know, I know....my thoughts are hard to follow. I am a confused person after all but it was mostly because I want to do a lot of things in my life and never have the opportunity to do it. I know I can start it but I have to proritize also with what I want and what my family needs. So if you're curious with what I will do...well, I will find a job and my goal is that I have to have a job this January or else, I don't know....I will find a back up plan.
For your information, I am a fresh graduate, a degree holder in Psychology and I am planning to take the Psychometrician board exam this year (well, yea, hopefully). For the past few months, I attended several interviews after interviews and have a few job offers but still, nothing happens. I am not really that impatient to have a job, I just want to live my life. During my stay and wait for the right job to just come (though I know that was a stupid thing to do), I indulge myself with books, manga, movie and music and oh, I binge watch US tv series and anime and tried learning foreign language but then failed. Ha!
To end this, I believe that 2015 is a hope that I will do better in my life. Self centered or not, still I have to claim to do better. I know it was everyone's hope... A new year was always a sign of fresh beginnings... it may be logical or not but you have to let it be a sign of hope and hold on to it. Oh gosh! I'm getting older. Happy New Year everyone!
After graduation was a big question mark, a long running thought play and a never ending squirming and anxiety. I tried finding a job (7 interviews, 3 job offers) and unfortunately, after interviews, I failed to be called or I failed to attend the second call. That was my mistake, I let myself be driven with the loss of my interest in the industry or the actual routines in the industry. I know it's the reality but everytime I step inside the doors of each company and feel the atmosphere then feel nothing but dread, I always tell myself that there are other options, other choice. With that, I tried to do my best but still, it feels like I can't take the next necessary step. Thus, I think I'm not ready to make myself do things that I don't feel like doing at all. That maybe I can hit any apply button in any company hiring in any job listing and if was lucky enough to be invited for interview, I will feel the environment then feel if I am ready or not. Even though I tried to think that way, it doesn't seem so right but staying at home and doing nothing doesn't seems so right too so I'll be damned, Caroline, what do you plan to do?
The thing is, I don't have solid plans....but I do have dreams. And dreams are sometimes for runners but like what I said, right now, I was more like a stander, a statue. Right now, my dreams doesn't matter because I am not yet on the move on achieving it and I will unlikely achieve it if I don't make plans. So I have to have plans. But being new to this, the most normal way to plan in making a move is a job. Right. Gosh. How come existing can be so easy but living can be so difficult? I know living will be easier if efforts are done, yes, so...
I know, I know....my thoughts are hard to follow. I am a confused person after all but it was mostly because I want to do a lot of things in my life and never have the opportunity to do it. I know I can start it but I have to proritize also with what I want and what my family needs. So if you're curious with what I will do...well, I will find a job and my goal is that I have to have a job this January or else, I don't know....I will find a back up plan.
For your information, I am a fresh graduate, a degree holder in Psychology and I am planning to take the Psychometrician board exam this year (well, yea, hopefully). For the past few months, I attended several interviews after interviews and have a few job offers but still, nothing happens. I am not really that impatient to have a job, I just want to live my life. During my stay and wait for the right job to just come (though I know that was a stupid thing to do), I indulge myself with books, manga, movie and music and oh, I binge watch US tv series and anime and tried learning foreign language but then failed. Ha!
To end this, I believe that 2015 is a hope that I will do better in my life. Self centered or not, still I have to claim to do better. I know it was everyone's hope... A new year was always a sign of fresh beginnings... it may be logical or not but you have to let it be a sign of hope and hold on to it. Oh gosh! I'm getting older. Happy New Year everyone!
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