I think my father has already forgotten how to be a good father. I mean, he was overseas for so many years already and my whole life has been spent without him by my side. I mean not being a father is really not the intention but it somehow ended up that way. He is calling every day yes, and he is sending money, yes but I don't really know him as a whole and I don't also even know if he knows me at all. It saddens me to think of it that way. I feel like we were robbed of that opportunity to be father and daughter. He succumbed to the idea of us surviving is greater than being there, feeling the presence and the importance of the real responsibility of being Papa. In heart, and in the soul. It saddens me to think that we will soon perish on earth without having the experience of being a family or enjoying the perks of it. I hope that this will not be experienced by Klay in the future. That if ever I have to go out of the country, he must be by my side.
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A prayer to my only sister
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There are genuine moments wherein I kinda dislike my sister, for well, for being my sister. It kinda comes in with the perks of being a middle child. But I can never hate her. We sometimes fight because I used to wear some of her clothes without asking for permission but it is also the same for her. Unconsciously, I kind of liking also the things that she likes. I'm unsure if it's because we have the same taste or I have hidden envy or whatever to her. But regardless, I never received any insulting words or hateful feedback, or distaste. She was one of the calmest people that I know. I sometimes disagree with her thoughts and mindset yet in the end, it's totally acceptable considering that we are two different people, even if we're sisters. I cannot remember the last time we were sweet with each other. The hugs, kisses, I love yous and other types of intimacy are always awkward. We were somehow, maybe accidentally, conditioned to be aloof and unexpressive. Up until now,...
Beautiful distractions
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I am actually practicing my writing skills (if may skills nga? Wahaha). Lately, I've been obsessed with stories published on Wattpad. The stories and different authors' skills that I have read so far are pretty great! (Chef's kissssss) It has greatly affected me. So in the back of my mind, I want to go back to blogging and practice! I mean, I would love to evoke emotions with my writing in the future hehe. It feels so wonderful. So far, here are the authors in Wattpad that I have admired: Jonaxx (https://www.wattpad.com/user/jonaxx) *take note that she already have an app (Jonaxx App) available in android and ios ;) Beeyotch (https://www.wattpad.com/user/beeyotch) Cinnderella (https://www.wattpad.com/user/cinnderella) Inksteady (https://www.wattpad.com/user/inksteady) jeeinna (https://www.wattpad.com/user/jeeinna) 4reuminct (https://www.wattpad.com/user/4reuminct) These authors are all so worth it *_* I am still in the process of discovering other authors. So far, their wor...
Oh well
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I don't really know where to start. A lot has changed in the past. I am a mother now and it's a joy! Klay Elijah is the name of my baby and I couldn't ask more (but maybe financial freedom, I guess?). Sooo, now is June 29th, and tomorrow is the inauguration of our newly elected President and I can feel nothing but remorse. I have been trying to actually move on with the fact that he is the new president and our country feels like going to have an excessive amount of injustices. I am planning to actually be just indifferent and hustle more for my son. But I can't help but think about other people who don't have any kind of privileges or have less privilege than I have. I mean, I am not that privileged. Though I have a day job, the same as my partner, we are still short of savings. Sadly, I cannot consider myself a financially wise person. I have lots to improve. Ideas on my mind keep on running but still, it is hard for me to take a step for them to be materialized....
imagine my surprise
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Gosh a lot has changed after 5 years! So here I am again, turning myself back to blogging. I was looking of starting a new blog again because I was thinking my old blogs won't be able to catch up on my present life. I mean, it's been so long since the last time that I was this eager to write a blog. Life has been hectic and I've been so busy living a life. Here and there I post something in my tumblr and instagram but you know they were more like social media. It is not a day in a life kind of content sharing, I often limit myself there and oh well, I feel like I need a different platform to share. Oh anyway, so moving on, I came across this blog of mine and I was surprised that the last entry I had was 5 years ago and reading my posts, it was a different me. Same but a different me! Hahaha. Reading through my previous blog entry, I post personal narratives and I decided to bare it all again here instead of starting a new one. The world has been so scary crazy from the sta...
Beneath the moon
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I watched the two of them laughing while holding a can of Heineken beer in each hand. I know that it's my father's favorite drink and Rade is in favor of drinking whatever that is alcoholic. They chose one of the eating place in the Singapore food trail, nearer to the famous Singapore Flyer and a view of the sun. Me, my sister and my father adores this place. There are always lots of people plus the amazing view where we can relax and see the sunset. Now, the sun is still preparing to set so it's not yet dark. Luckily, I got out of the office faster than I thought. The two of them didn't see me yet. My father leaned on Rade and say something to him that makes him laugh harder. I stop walking and smile at the sight. Some people don't get my father because he sometimes say a lot of things most especially when he's drunk and seeing Rade looks like enjoying his company makes my heart flutter. I shake my head and stopped admiring the sight. I don't want to let my...
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Well, this is overwhelming Sa sobrang overwhelming, this will be a late post. It was last January that I came up with a game plan. I have no job, I have no interest or whatever strong desire to start working but I have some applications here and there but there's nothing that really demands me to be active to. I have no idea, real idea what to do. I succumb into reading and harnessing my own personal demands but then I realized I have to do something and that is to maybe just maybe, I have to try taking the exam. I cannot say that I can fully stand on my decision because if you would know me, I'm the most indecisive person you'll ever meet. It is all thanks to Friend (Annalyn) that without her knowing, she made me completely decide to just take the test, just take the risk and try.... I was amazed by her determination to take the exam and enroll in a review center. With Friend's inspiring determination and my best friend's encouragement, I have fully stand ...