A prayer to my only sister

There are genuine moments wherein I kinda dislike my sister, for well, for being my sister. It kinda comes in with the perks of being a middle child. But I can never hate her. We sometimes fight because I used to wear some of her clothes without asking for permission but it is also the same for her. Unconsciously, I kind of liking also the things that she likes. I'm unsure if it's because we have the same taste or I have hidden envy or whatever to her. But regardless, I never received any insulting words or hateful feedback, or distaste. She was one of the calmest people that I know. I sometimes disagree with her thoughts and mindset yet in the end, it's totally acceptable considering that we are two different people, even if we're sisters.

I cannot remember the last time we were sweet with each other. The hugs, kisses, I love yous and other types of intimacy are always awkward. We were somehow, maybe accidentally, conditioned to be aloof and unexpressive. Up until now, I still have difficulty expressing myself. I hate being the center of attention. Every praise is so awkward, that I could puke. It is the same thing for her. I guess. We were never sweet. It is only that I gave birth to my son that I appreciate her being there. I kinda understand that we have different ways of showing care and I appreciate that even though I am already a mother and have already a partner, she always seeks my advice and opens up to me. That is something that I really treasured and I don't want any other people to have that same thing with her. I am that selfish. Maybe the pandemic helps with our relationship. I mean, 24/7, we're just in the house for 2 years (more or less). It's a blessing in disguise. She was never selfish, materialistic, yes. But if given the chance that she has a hundred million on her hands, I'm pretty sure that half of it will be shared with us. So the prayer is, may the universe continue to give my sister wonderful health. A strong and peaceful mind, loving soul, and abundant wealth so that her help and kind heart will be extended not only to us but to others. 

I might not say it a lot but I am always proud of her and will always love her. 

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