Eccentric Soul

Is it really that bad to limit yourself and choose people whom you can be attach to? I mean, I'm kind of a person who needs a lot of effort to make a companion and I've got to make a lot of effort to make a person to be close to me and I am the one who must talk first and I'm not kind of a person who was being approached to. I don't have much pleasing personality to be entertained and that much pleasing personality that a stranger in a bar can say "Hi" to me and chosen to be a number 1 friend. I don't have much benefits to them and it sucks that I'm not good at impressing a person at first sight. Well. Yeah. Right now, I only have 7 friends that I am close to now college and not all of them I can trust much but I am attached. I mean, I have 37 classmates  right now and only 7 of them are my friends. The rest of my classmates are there staring at me sometimes like a stranger. I can get to know them. I can be close to them that's IF, and only if I...

Facebook suddenly become the "Banatan" capital of networking site. All the quotes, corny or whatever words were again posted into their wall as their status. Obviously, Google is their primary search engine for the words they posts and other sources like Tumblr, Twitter were the secondary. I have nothing against it because I can unfriend them anytime and it's social networking site and it's their own profile so they can post anything they wanted to post. It's just a little annoying when those words were again and again posted here and there. So what's new? But I just don't know what's the benefit of posting "banat" like that in their wall which is already used by others, they are making banat throughout the news feeds without a consistent recipient of their words. They might as well post it to their own special someone rather than posting it on their own wall as their status. Yea, it might be more acceptable if those words were going to b...

Sometimes, my complete lack of sense of humor managed to gain hatred to others and from others. I don't know, is it really bad to be serious sometimes? I'm so tired of making their completely immature schemes as humor, it was really injustice. I might as well go back during the Dark Era rather than talking to them with their greatly uttered bullshit. I don't know if I'm gonna make myself called as a true friend anymore if all the time I have this hidden rage on every words they spit. I just don't care anymore. I don't think that they are very much compatible of being a true friend. Seriously.

The clock is ticking. I feel a little pressure with the creepy sound of it. It's more louder than anything right now and all I just wanted to do is to keep it somewhere far so that I couldn't hear it anymore. But I don't want to waste any effort on it, it's just a clock and it will never hurt me physically. The dogs continue to bark as I sat here staring at the monitor with my non sense and easy words, trying to make something and challenged the way I write these days. I've been napping the whole day and only good words made me awake but unluckily, I have no inspiration to spit out fantastic words from my mind and type it here. I'm so sorry for my ambition of becoming a writer... I have a long way to go and hopefully, it will not stay as an ambition. I need to do something about it but I have to learn first. Someone says that it does not matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop. I'm very slow on things like eating, to thinking, in fulfilling and ...

I think, I should stop updating my personal issues in tumblr and might as well update it here in blogspot. I just got tired of using tumblr. From a reblogger on the year 2009 and half of 2010, to a personal blogger till present, I just don't get the people there and they are revolving to someone I can't consider as familiar. There might be a reason that I don't have much friends in that site aside from the fact that I'm an antisocial shit, it's just that most of the people there are not as real as they are and I don't want to make friends on fake people. Anyway, I need to update this. I need to make myself open this blog site everyday, that's a promise. And I will never talk about this topic anymore and from now on, I'm going to blog about things that really concerns me, interest me, very relevant and really something about me. JSYK, obviously, it's a personal blog again..

Buhay na buhay na ang Pilipinas at ang Pilipino. (PNoy, 2011) "Itigil na po natin ang paghihilahan pababa. Ang dating industriya ng pintasan na hindi natin maitakwil, iwaksi na po natin. Tuldukan na po natin ang pagiging utak-alimango; puwede bang iangat naman natin ang magaganda nating nagawa?" Sa simula nang sinalaysay ni Pangulong Noynoy ang kanyang SONA, akala ko ay puro pambabatikos sa nakaraang administrasyon ang kanya agad sasabihin. Ngunit nagkamali ako, at ang salitang "wang-wang" ang paulit-ulit niyang nabanggit. Siguro ang nais ipahiwatig ni Noynoy sa Wang wang na sistema ng pamahalaan at ng bansa ay ang pag-iisip sa sarili ng bawat Pilipino, ang pagiging madamot, ang hindi pagiging patas at ang hindi pag-iisip na tayo ay may iisa lamang bansa, lahi at dugo at bawat isa ay may sariling paninindigan para iangat ang bansang Pilipinas at pagandahin ang kinabukasan ng mga susunod na Pilipino. Bukod sa "wang-wang" na patuloy niyang idinidiin, kapansi...

Nadedepress na naman ako sa mga pangyayari sa aking buhay. Kauuwi ko lang galing eskwelahan at kailangan ko pa rin harapin ang walang kamatayang school works kahit sa tahanan namin. Hindi naman sa nagrereklamo ako, pagod lang talaga ako. Sa hindi malamang dahilan, normal na talaga ang mapressure sa eskwelahan kahit iwasan mo ang ganung pakiramdam. Tanging hiling ko lang naman ay simpleng inspirasyon na kayang sabayan ako at itulak patungo sa tamang lugar na aking tatahakin. Yung bang parang simpleng ngiti lang niya, non verbal man alam mo agad na suportado ka niya. Pagkadating ko sa amin, nagbihis agad ako at niyaya na agad akong kumain ni Inay ng hapunan para daw matapos ko nang maaga ang mga gawain ko at hindi na muling magpuyat. Nagtatampo na kasi ang kama ko at konting oras ko lang siya nahihigaan araw-araw. Pagkatapos kong kumain, binuksan ko agad ang aming computer at sinimulan ang pagreresearch. Makalipas ang ilang minuto, hindi ako nakatiis at nag online ako sa Facebo...

Di ko lang alam ah pero hindi naman ang mga pinupula mo ang kapula-pula kung di yung ugali mong namumula ang kapula pula.

According to Freud, we have this so-called “Erogenous zone” which is a part of our body that receives pleasure. It is in any part of our body that when sometimes touch or anything done to it, we feel this electrifying pleasure. And when that pleasure in that body part where triggered, it is already called “Sex”. So, technically, if your erogenous zone is in your arm, and when someone let’s just say accidentally touched your arm and then you feel pleasure, then you and that someone who touch your arm already had sex.

It is really impossible for someone to be confident if there are people who always brings them down. If there are people who judge and never have the capacity to understand the real essence of beauty. It is really impossible for someone to be confident if he/she don’t accept the reality and don’t have much strength to face the world with the belief that everything about him was God’s gift. All we have to do was to believe in our self and face the world head high without shame and full of bright. In that way, you’ll be happy and confident.

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

Antevasin - one who lives at the border. The antevasin was not one of the villagers anymore-not a household with a conventional life. But neither was he yet a transcendent-not one of those who live deep in the unexplored woods, fully realized. The antevasin was an in-betweener. He was a border-dweller. He lived in sight of both worlds but he looked toward the unknown. And he was a scholar.

This is my best friend and me. Obviously, mas mataba talaga siya sakin. HAHA! Jk.  Mahirap talaga makahanap at makatagpo ng isang klase ng kaibigan na totoo. Yung may pure na pagmamahal, pure na pagtitiwala at pure na masasandigan mo. Siya, kahit na nagkalayo kami ng halos tatlong taon, siya pa rin ang maituturing kong matalik na kaibigan. Ganito kasi, nagkakilala kami nung first year high school.. tapos, naging close na kamin non, tapos napahiwalay ako sa kanya nung 2nd year kasi napalipat ako ng section. Pero, andun pa rin siya sa tabi ko at best friends pa rin. Nang dumating ang 3rd year high school at tuluyan na siyang nawala at lumipat ng ibang school. Pero pag minsan, nadalaw naman siya sa school namin nun at sa bahay na rin naman kaya tuloy pa rin ang lalim ng pagkakaibigan. Ant ngayong 2nd year college na kami, iisa lang ang pinapasukan naming school, kahit magkaiba ang course, tinatry ko pa rin i-revive ang anuman nawala samin at ipagpatuloy ang pagiging magkapatid namin ...

I already know what’s wrong with me. It was the fear I have within me. The fear that is always stocked up and always hindered every possible thing that I can do. The only reason why I ended up miserable and disappointed with myself. The reason I always care for everyone’s opinion, conscious on my every move and being dependent in any way. I let myself be driven by that fear all along never knowing that I feel as if it’s the natural feeling that I can have. I never let my surroundings, thoughts, movements widened in any possible ways. When every opportunity pass and I stand like a statue not doing anything at all, I regretted not doing the things that I wanted to do telling myself that “I don’t really want it” when the fact is I always wanted it. This fear that is drowning beneath me so deep and like a natural thing flowing in my veins from my mentality makes me selfish in some situation and hurt other people that I love. I let myself being flown by others and failed to stand in my own ...

Noong mga bata pa tayo at nakikipaglaro ng taguan sa magulang natin, sinusubukan nating magtago sa mga lugar kung saan hindi na natin sila kita kaya’t alam na nating hindi nila tayo makikita. Pero ang totoo nun, kahit inaakala natin nasa tamang posisyon tayo para pagtaguan sila, alam nila kung saan tayo nagtatago ngunit para saiyo, hindi nila sinasabi at bibigyan ka pa ng panahon para itago pa ang sarili mo hanggang sa magsawa ka na at aminin kung nasan ka talaga. Yung ganong sitwasyon, parang ganun din sa mga bagay bagay na mabuti man o masama na patuloy nating tinatago sa kanila. Patuloy nilang pinapakita na wala silang clue sa bagay na itinatago natin pero ang totoo niyan, alam nila. Binibigyan lang nila tayo ng tamang panahon para tayo mismo ang magsabi kung ano yun at handa silang umalalay at gumabay sa paraang alam nilang tama.

I missed reading a book, having an adventure with the protagonist. The fun in the mystery, the laughter in every happenings. T_T I really hate it when school is the one who tries to stops me when I have this urgency to read a book. You know, everytime I'm stressed and feels like I want to die (JK), books are my haven, my only escape what reality is. Although it's ironic that books are the one who taught me what reality is, still they are the one who comfort me and guide me how to face it. Oh-kaay. I'm just trying to post something. HA! Never mind this non sense post. Anyway, my name is Caroline and please do call me Carol- it's more comfortable.