Eccentric Soul

Since the moment that you first laid your eyes on her, you said that she’s the one. You said that the sun rise itself on her smile, that her hair will guard her face with those destructing winds and the glowing stars take a peak on her eyes. I thought it was ridiculous that you said something like that but when I look at you as you describe her, then I understand, you are a boy deeply in love. Then after dozens of poetry, courageous courtship and pure heart from you, and plenty of lipsticks, hundreds of smile and mesmerizing blush from her. You blow her away and she rock your world with single word - “YES” But then, not so long you end up with me with those disappointing eyes. You said that what you’ve feared are beginning to arrive. that the sun is not really rising from her smile, and all you two have is something more of a lie. What you have expect has not begun, because in the beginning, you insists to deny what’s her heart’s like.

Lumipas ang ilang araw, naramdaman kong parang may kulang. Hindi ko na matikman ang todong saya dala ng sulat at ginintuang salita. Sa pagsuot ko ng puting uniporme, biglang tumigil ang musika at mga pantig. Biglang babaw ng tuwa’t tawa, malapit nang bitawan ang mga bampira at dragon sa diwa. Hinay hinay muna sa nais likhain, kailangang mag-igi sa sayantipikong gawain, pati sa paniniwala, alisin ang mahika at itim na pusa dahil ang kailangan ay rasyunal na isip at objektibong paniniwala.

May isang bolero, nakasakay sa sasakyan niyang Montero. Siya’y may misyon, ang mapasagot ang babaeng matagal nang ginugusto. Ngunit hindi siya naisin ng babaeng kanyang minimithi hanggang sa hindi na niya kipitin ang bolang teknik niya para sa sanang “Oo” na matagal nang mithiin. Kaya bumaba na nga sa kanyang sasakyan, dala dala ang tsokolateng alam niyang paborito ng dilag. Kipit na niya ay hindi bola, kung’di makapal na sobreng naglalaman ng saloobin niya. Ang sobreng kipit ay ang  totoo niyang damdamin, ang bumubulaklak na niyang paghanga sa babaeng nagpatibok at kumurot sa puso niya at handa na niyang lisanin ang bolang nakasanayan para sigurado nang sagutin siya ng babaeng ilang taon na niyang nililigawan.

Book Review: Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins Rating:  **** (4/5 stars) Oh God! Just thinking of Ettiene St. Clair gives me butterflies in my stomach and I wanted someone like him. This book makes me want to fall in love and to experience falling in love, all its process with the right guy. Why do English guys are really charming? All in all, this book gives me a really wonderful experience. I thought at first the book will only offer me stories with those of romantic cliches and dramas but the book itself proved me wrong maybe because the protagonists are really smart and funny and the lines are smartly written and histories of wonderful places in Paris are here, are real places with their cool facts. And also maybe because it's really much Parisian and Ettiene St. Clair is a dream guy. UGH. This makes me want to go to Paris more. Thumbs up for the author, Stephanie Perkins. You saved me, I mean, you made me want to build my own love life by just reading your bo...

There’s a silent knock on the door and I knew it was him. I’m afraid to open it, doubtful to even peek. I know that even I chose not to open the lock would still turn the keys will bring the noise and he would still enter dark even it’s a creepy dungeon it doesn’t matter, to him it’s something he desired, he needed. There’s a silent sigh as he enter I grasp the blanket, my only little saving grace. Trying to close my eyes, tightly shut as if it will let him go away but still the bed bounce as he sits his hands starts exploring the very thing I’m protecting. I let out a cry in the dark waiting for the tears to drop but it’s as if the tears itself are tired, and even my soul doesn’t regained it’s strength hopelessness collided with the sharp cries and pain. And keep thinking that there’s a star outside, that this immoral sin will pass and I will leave this agony, my world full of disgust.

Sabi mo kapag umulan, may sorpresa ka. Pero nakalipas na ang unang ulan ng summer e hindi ka pa rin nagpapakita. Wari ba’y nakalimutan ang pangakong sa aki’y magpapasaya. Pero naintindihan ko naman kasi nakita kita sa bookstore na madalas nating tambayan. May hawak ka pang kape habang nakikipaglokohan ‘don sa mukhang librarian. Pero pinakilala mo at siya pala ‘yung kinukwento mong crush mo sa akin. Kaya ang sagot ko sa kanya ‘nung nakipagkamay sya ay : “I heard a lot of things about you!”(O, ingles pa ‘yon wala siya) Naiintindihan ko kasi gusto ko lagi kang nakikitang masaya. E siguro ‘nung unang ulan ng summer ay kasama mo siya. Kaya ‘yung sorpresa mo ay wala nang halaga. Akala ko ay ‘yung porselas na nakita ko sa bulsa mo ‘nung magkasama tayo ang isosorpresa mo sa akin. E ang nangyari, nakita ko nang suot ‘nung crush mo na ‘yun. Kaya ekis ka porselas. Ekis ako na masyadong assuming pagdating sa’yo. Pero hindi mo alam kung gaano halos napunit ang puso ko. Kasi bukod sa nakal...

These scars will always remind me on how I tried to hide from my 6th grade crush during our graduation picture. These scars will always remind me when he said that it doesn’t matter if I have it or not that I should let it, no matter how many acne scattered and occupied my face. These scars will always remind me the pity and hopeless looks of friends who was “concerned” on my situation and how I tried to mask my disappointments and discomfort. These scars will always remind me on how I always wait for someone to say that I am beautiful and mean it even though I think that I am not. These scars will always remind me on how I tried every products I heard. These scars will always remind me on how distorted what real beauty is - that no one will ever approach you when you have those pimples on your face, how frustrating it was because the society makes it the way it is. But these scars will always remind me that even all of those things always put me into almost hopelessness  I ne...

It was a whirlwind of thoughts on how out of the ordinary yesterday was and how we welcome this day. Sabi ni Duque, i-blog ko daw ito. Siguro e lasing pa siya ‘non kasi naghahanap pa siya ng Empi ‘nung sinabi niya na “Carol, i-blog mo ito.” Pero lasing man o hindi, ib-blog ko ang nanyare with that almost 24 hours.  So. To make the long story short… Pumunta kami ng Lobo. Ang paalam ko e sa Mabini kasi naman, hindi ako papayagan sa Lobo like haaay. (Kung nababasa mo ito, ate. Atin atin lang ito. Alam ko namang mahal mo ako kaya intindihin mo na lang. Salamat. :*) Anyway. Simula pa lang, alam kong hindi kami magiging friends ni “Twist and Turns Road on the Way to Lobo”. Nang makaraos sa nakakaliyong daan, huminto kami sa plaza ng Lobo, naghintay ‘nung financer sa pagkain na the best na taga Talahib Pandayan na malayo pa pala so umuna na kami, naiwan ‘yung iba kong kaibigan para tuluyang maghintay, naghanap kami ng resort ‘don sa Malabrigo, nakakita ng may 50 pesos na entrance at ...

Nais ko lang iparating sa’yo, iba ang mapanghusga sa matalino. Maaaring nagamit ka ng utak sa pag iisip sa paggawa ng dalwa pero wala itong kwenta kung walang puso at hindi kompleto ang diwa. Puro mata, puro mata tingin ka ng tingin, walang maisip kung ‘di kritiko. Hindi mo na napapansin, may nayayapakan ka ng tao. At dada ka nang dada, hindi pala totoo. Siguro nga’y boses ay maganda, mataas nga ang marka pero wala nang naisip kung ;di mang husga. Nasayang ang baon, o taong walang puso.  Kaya nga di ba, iba ang mapanghusga sa matalino. May nagawa ka na ba? May napatunayan ka na ba?

“So, it’s you and me against the world again”.… Daisy stated while looking straight to the dark street where they will be soon enter. “Like I have any other choice” Daisy look then frown at Raz. “You really don’t like this set up, do you? I am always your last option. May it be with whatever mess you’re into. All the girls you flirting with are just gone with the wind and the amazing, trustful and loving me will save you again like you have no other choice and as a very very very amazing, trustful and loving friend of yours don’t care as long as I will not see you in the plaza loitering around alone because I hate seeing you like a dumbass stupid looking alone again. And *sigh you don’t have any other choice” Daisy put her palm in her forehead after speaking up her heartaches. But she’s used to its set up. And also, she believed in whatever Raz can do. It is only Raz don’t believe in his own ability. “Okay okay, sorry, alright? Thank you my amazing, trustful and loving frien...