I realized that there has been a lot of moments that I tried skipping inspirational quotes when I see one. I tried so hard not to read the motivational words posted by someone who have in the most place to quote it. I feel like a person in a terrible situation or on a terrible start that I don’t want to be affected by others who have moved on, who have every rights to share a moving and motivating quotes. One reason is I’m sick of it and I want to atleast make an action before opening up to another motivating quotes orwords of wisdom from someone else.

December 10, 2014

For the past few months, every night, I was like expecting something to happen. I want to be prepared with something that I don’t even know. Maybe I am preparing for a sleep with full of dreams. I sometimes imagined that during those nights, I was transported to some place and I was meeting someone very special and doing things that I really wanted. I often have this warm feeling when I was dreaming and a little bit melancholic when I awake and knew that all of what I’ve dreamed will be fading any moment. But even I’m awake, I feel like there’s always someone is watching but you know, it was just a feeling...not a haunting feeling but a sort of a comfort that indeed, there is someone watching. But you know, it might be hopelessness of mine to be someone extraordinary, that I might even want to be in fantasy than in reality. Everything is just little fragments of discontentment on mundane things and just like reading, it serves as a way for me to escape normality. So in short, my mind is playing with me. And I don’t know if I still want to grasp that dream and fantasy of being anything but ordinary and far from being mundane or just let it go and ordinarily face the battle in reality. 

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