I realized that there has been a lot of moments that I tried
skipping inspirational quotes when I see one. I tried so hard not to read the
motivational words posted by someone who have in the most place to quote it. I
feel like a person in a terrible situation or on a terrible start that I don’t
want to be affected by others who have moved on, who have every rights to share
a moving and motivating quotes. One reason is I’m sick of it and I want to atleast
make an action before opening up to another motivating quotes orwords of wisdom
from someone else.
December 10, 2014
For the past few months, every night, I was like expecting
something to happen. I want to be prepared with something that I don’t even know.
Maybe I am preparing for a sleep with full of dreams. I sometimes imagined that
during those nights, I was transported to some place and I was meeting someone
very special and doing things that I really wanted. I often have this warm
feeling when I was dreaming and a little bit melancholic when I awake and knew
that all of what I’ve dreamed will be fading any moment. But even I’m awake, I
feel like there’s always someone is watching but you know, it was just a
feeling...not a haunting feeling but a sort of a comfort that indeed, there is
someone watching. But you know, it might be hopelessness of mine to be someone
extraordinary, that I might even want to be in fantasy than in reality.
Everything is just little fragments of discontentment on mundane things and
just like reading, it serves as a way for me to escape normality. So in short,
my mind is playing with me. And I don’t know if I still want to grasp that
dream and fantasy of being anything but ordinary and far from being mundane or
just let it go and ordinarily face the battle in reality.
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