August 15, 2014
How will I begin my life?
I've got a lot of things that I wanted and not wanted to happen in my life. One thing that I don't want to happen to me is what happened to my mother- stayed at home, do whatever that is practical and be full of inhibitions and dreams that cannot be achieved because of the simplest reason of being stucked with her mother. I don't want to regret the things that I've never done and be just the one watching with whatever that's happening (good) with my best friend. We dreamed together and there she is, wishing me to have a life, while she is little by little, starting her life. I want to achieve my dreams: to genuinely travel, to earn a lot and let my mother join me in my travels, learn more things, be a part of something, to have a doctor degree, to build a home for my parents, to live in a nice townhouse, to travel, to taste foods - lots of them, to meet my idols, to live my life, to publish a book, to help reduce depression and help in campaigning suicide prevention, to write something utterly moving, to read more books, to influence a lot of people, to sing and dance without caring what other people may think, to live in full adventure, to make my parents proud and happy and many things. Someone says to me (indirectly) that right now, it looks like I'm wasting my time and I should somehow be start living now. I know for a fact that I have to start somewhere but instead I'm focusing on daydreaming and I don't know.... They say, it's not yet my time, that my time will come and of course, I will keep on hoping and believe that God will provide and God's delay is not God's denial. But sometimes believing in such a thing is like making an excuse in my passive state.
How will I begin my life?
I've got a lot of things that I wanted and not wanted to happen in my life. One thing that I don't want to happen to me is what happened to my mother- stayed at home, do whatever that is practical and be full of inhibitions and dreams that cannot be achieved because of the simplest reason of being stucked with her mother. I don't want to regret the things that I've never done and be just the one watching with whatever that's happening (good) with my best friend. We dreamed together and there she is, wishing me to have a life, while she is little by little, starting her life. I want to achieve my dreams: to genuinely travel, to earn a lot and let my mother join me in my travels, learn more things, be a part of something, to have a doctor degree, to build a home for my parents, to live in a nice townhouse, to travel, to taste foods - lots of them, to meet my idols, to live my life, to publish a book, to help reduce depression and help in campaigning suicide prevention, to write something utterly moving, to read more books, to influence a lot of people, to sing and dance without caring what other people may think, to live in full adventure, to make my parents proud and happy and many things. Someone says to me (indirectly) that right now, it looks like I'm wasting my time and I should somehow be start living now. I know for a fact that I have to start somewhere but instead I'm focusing on daydreaming and I don't know.... They say, it's not yet my time, that my time will come and of course, I will keep on hoping and believe that God will provide and God's delay is not God's denial. But sometimes believing in such a thing is like making an excuse in my passive state.
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