Reminisce

When I was a kid, I always love to sing even though my mom doesn't support me or encouraged me when it comes to my voice but I have a toy microphone (tho I don't know who gave it to me) and that was my favorite toy. When I was in grade school, I always love to stay and play alone upstairs. I fancy observing the trees and most especially the wind from the window of the second floor house. You must know that I am weird now and that makes me a weirder kid. I don't mind playing alone or have an imaginary playmates and even talk to trees, love the feel of the wind thinking that it was my friend or even wondered if there were angels and demons fighting in every dark clouds that I see from the sky or when there are little lightnings from it. The little sense of nature that I can see from the windows around the second floor of our house was my entertainment and were my playmates. Upstairs is when I was alone but never felt alone. I might have diagnosed schizophrenia if I'm still doing what I've been doing when I was a child. Now I remember, even though I live an ordinary life, I have a really weird childhood. Funny that I even thought that I have the power to stop the rain when I sing. I always sing upstairs when I thought no one was looking. When I sense that the rain was coming, I will have a glint in my eyes that no one will ever notice and I will suddenly run upstairs to perform my ritual of songs, I have a funny belief that the rain loves it when I sing "On my Own" and the wind will glide around and the rain will suddenly stop. There was a moment that it doesn't stop, so I will sing out loud the song "On my Own" and sometimes blame the forgotten lyrics because duh, the rain hates it when I've got those beautiful words wrong and it will not stop. There was no internet so I have to peek on my notes of the lyrics and will sing it again, properly and wait for the raindrops small until it fades. Nature may look at me funny that's why sometimes the rain stops and there will always the wind that will caress me. But as time goes by, the trees that I can see from the windows of our second floor was not a friend anymore, but until now, when I stare at our window, I have a funny feeling and sense of familiarity towards it. I always love the wind, even before that was the element that comforts me and I always seek its feel and it always have a tug of a heartstrings for me. The rain doesn't stop when I sing. Mostly it got stronger when I belt out a Sia song, joined by merciless thunderstorms, really sense of humor of the rain, but the thing is I don't really have an effect on it even though how much I wanted to affect it. Being a child was fun and being a grown up was stressful. But remembering my childhood days can somehow overcome the current dullness of my life.